Overcoming resistence

After writing my blog for 21 days my plan was to continue writing three times a week on Monday, Wednesday and Friday.  I missed Monday and Wednesday and here I am a week later.

So what happened, why did I not write my blog on Monday and Wednesday?

Each day of the 21 Day Challenge was a stretch for me, writing and publishing for the world to see does not come naturally and easily for me.

When the structure of the 21 Day Challenge was no longer in place, I stopped writing the blog.

It was the structure that supported me to write each day, I just had to follow the structure.  Without structures, inertia, resistance and fear can easily set in and we often revert back to old comfortable habits (in my case not writing a blog post!)

With structure and the discipline to follow the structure, my commitments are supported and resistance does not stand a chance.

For 21 days I wrote a blog post every day because my commitment was more important to me than my resistance.  I made a commitment to myself and the readers of my blog and I created a structure to fulfil on my commitment.

I am going to build blogging into the structure of my working day and write at a regular time – During the 21 Day Challenge I wrote at different times of the day.

I am confident that before long writing my blog will be the path of least resistance for me and will soon be a habit.

I would love to hear your experiences with resistance and how you have overcome them.  Please either leave a comment below or contact me directly at daniel@futurebility.co.uk or 07801 598376

Deliberately stretch yourself

During my 21 Day Challenge I stretched myself and felt stretched.  Getting up early and writing my blog every day was challenging, rewarding and emotional.

Writing the blog every day was more of a challenge for me than getting up early (and that’s saying something!)

By deliberately stretching myself I got to see myself at my best and my worst and I also saw where the limitations are in my life as they showed up as stress.

Some of these sources of stress were:

1. My computer running slowly when I wanted it to be fast
2. Being tired or lacking in energy
3. Not knowing what to write on my blog
4. Not being able to find files on my computer that I needed

I saw that I can deliberately stretch myself and see where the cracks are, I can stress test my life and see what gives.  Not to be masochistic, rather to see what keeps me living the life I currently live and what, once transformed, will allow me to live a bigger, fuller life.

My one caveat is that I will meet my basic needs, I will not stretch myself at the cost of not getting enough sleep, eating well and spending time with the important people in my life.

This month I am building my business by focusing on my three offerings:

1. Entrepreneurs Networking Group – A fortnightly facilitated networking evening for entrepreneurs and small business owners.

2. Business Coaching Group – A mastermind group for small business owners to meet regular to support each other to build their businesses.

3. Individual Coaching for executive and small business owners – Focusing on improving their success and happiness.

What is your focus and how can you deliberately stretch yourself to see where your limits are currently?

21 Day Challenge – Day 21

21 Day Challenge – Day 20

Feel the stretch and do it anyway

As a result of playing a bigger game and setting myself some challenging goals I’m really feeling the stretch.  Sometimes it feels like fear, sometimes like loneliness and sometimes like tiredness.  I am choosing to call it the stretch.

When we stretch ourselves and reach beyond our comfortable grasp it feels uncomfortable for a while, then gradually something that once felt like a stretch and a challenge becomes normal (like getting up early!).

This ability to be with the stretch and get used to and even welcome the feelings that come with it are key to growing and developing and I feel better already just thinking of myself as being in the stretch.

When we stretch ourselves resources show up; the friends we need, the contacts that will support us and the strength to achieve our goals.

I have got so much out of my 21 Day Challenge and I feel privileged to have undertaken it and delighted with the results that I am achieving.  I am excited about the next challenge and looking forward to October.

I plan to get comfortable with the feeling of stretching myself and to be careful not to mistake it for fear, loneliness and tiredness.

What is an area in your life where you can stretch yourself?  Where have you got comfortable being uncomfortable?

21 Day Challenge – Day 19

Find your fertile ground

Things that inspire us are precious, valuable and require nurturing.

When we have an idea that inspires us and we share it with someone who is overly critical or asks for a lot of detail it can be tough, especially for creative people.

Equally, to have an idea and keep it to ourselves and not share it can be uncomfortable and the idea cannot grow.  So what to do?

I liken an ispiring idea to a seed – If we hoard a seed and do not plant it, it is safe but will not grow.  Equally, if we plant the seed in thorny or rocky ground (the biblical reference is purely coincidental!), it will not grow or will grow a little and be choked.

However, if we plant the seed in fertile ground and give it sunshine, water and nutrients it will have a good chance of growing strong.

Just like a seed needs fertile ground, we too need fertile ground for our ideas and plans, in the form of support and challenge.  The type of fertile ground will depend on our personality and the goal we have.

Someone who is very confident and is committed to getting fit may find a gym or a sports club the ideal fertile ground whereas someone with the same goal who is shy may prefer to train at home watching a fitness DVD.

An ideal environment provides support and it also provides challenge, which encourages us to learn and grow.  Most of us have experienced at least in part an ideal fertile ground for ourselves.

What environment provides you with the support and challenge you want and need and what can you do today to create your own fertile ground?

21 Day Challenge – Day 18

What inspires you?

Today’s blog post is in the form of a question ‘What inspires you?

I asked myself this question and in no particular order and without editing or censoring, this is what I came up with:

- Courage in the face of adversity
- Self-expression – Especially singing and dancing
- Visiting new countries
- Meeting interesting people
- The sea
- Rivers
- Walking in the woods
- My girlfriend Lisa’s calmness in dealing with a bad fire at her school
- My Mum’s strength in fighting to keep my brother’s care home open
- Beauty in its many forms
- Uplifting music

Everything on my list inspires me and when I focus on these things I rise above my fears and doubts and am better able to achieve my goals.

We sometimes expect ourselves to carry on by ourselves however we feel.  I have found that focusing on my goals, sharing them with supportive people and staying inspired is a powerful and enjoyable way to achieve my goals.

What inspires you?  Please add a comment below if you feel inspired to share.

21 Day Challenge – Day 17

What to do when your stuff comes up

Yesterday I wrote that playing a bigger game brings your ’stuff up’.  I am sure that several of you were left thinking, ‘Great, so what happens when my ’stuff’ comes up?’

There is no simple answer to that, as everyone’s stuff is different and how best to handle it varies from person to person.

That said, what works for me is to take the focus away from my ’stuff’, my fears, insecurities and doubts and refocus on my goals.  When I am focused on what I want to achieve and why I want to achieve it my attention is on what I want rather than on what I do not want.

I can choose to focus on my fears, insecurities and doubts or I can choose to focus on my goals and desires.  My focus is what dictates my experience of my life and also what grows.

This by no means an answer to everyone’s ’stuff’, it is simply a suggestion to focus on what you want, why you want it and how you feel when you think about it and take your focus away from what you do not want.

More on focus tomorrow.

21 Day Challenge – Day 16

Playing big brings up our ’stuff’

I had a great week last week, I felt inspired and I played a bigger game, setting several goals and making lots of plans for this week.

This week the inspiration has subsided a bit and I have been left with some big goals and a long to do list!

I have plodded through my to do list and I am glad it’s Friday.

It occurred to me today that playing big brings up our ’stuff’.  By ’stuff’ I mean limiting beliefs (eg. I’m not smart enough, I can’t do it, it won’t work), as well as fears and insecurities.

The easy option is to give in to this stuff and crawl back under the duvet, reach for the chocolates, cigarettes or booze and give up.  The harder and ultimately more profitable option is to acknowledge the stuff, refocus on the goal and carry on.

Last week I set four goals for the end of September:

1. Win two new coaching clients
2. Have 25+ people at the Entrepreneurs Networking Group on 30th Sept
3. Create a video blog entry by the end of September
4. Set a date for my first business workshop

So far I have one new 1-1 coaching client and three new Group Coaching clients, there are 6 people confirmed for the Entrepreneurs Networking Group and I have not yet create a video blog entry or set a date for the workshop.

By rewriting these goals I remind myself of them and refocus and by publishing them on the blog, which is being read by up to 40 people a day, I feel more accountable and motivated to achieve them.

Of course this does not guarantee that I will achieve them, it does mean that I am carrying on.

What goals have you set in the past and then your ’stuff’ has come up and you have given up?

Playing big always brings up our ’stuff’, it is up to us how we respond to it.

If you would like some support achieving your goals and moving through any ’stuff’ please call me on 07801 598376 or email daniel@futurebility.co.uk

21 Day Challenge – Day 15

Yesterday I wrote about the importance of being inspired and I want to expand on that today.

Inspire means to breathe in and we need to breathe in to be able to express / breathe out.

I believe that if we are to express, create or lead we need to be inspired on a regular basis.  This involves understanding what we are inspired by and having regular access to it.

It may not be possible and I don’t think it is really necessary to be inspired all the time, just like it is not necessary to have a full tank of petrol every time you drive somewhere.

However, if we run out of inspiration altogether, just like if we let the car run out of petrol altogether, we may slow down and stop and need to fill up.

How often you need to fill up on inspiration will depend on several factors including your personality type, the work that you do and your lifestyle.

A young child whose only ‘job’ is to play and have fun will likely find it very easy to become and stay inspired.  Someone who has worked for decades in a job that they do not enjoy may find it very hard to get inspired and may be acting out of habit or obligation.

After writing this blog post, I am going for a walk around Victoria Park. The weather is gorgeous in London today and I have been inside all day and I am looking forward to getting out there.

That is inspiring for me and I am looking forward to the exercise, the fresh air and the sights and sounds of the park.

I am looking at ways to build inspiration into my daily routine, whether it is reading, listening to great music, watching inspiring You Tube videos or talking to loved ones.

I have always know that inspiration is important, I am starting to see it as essential to a creative life and to running a business and you will be hearing a lot more about inspiration in future posts.

21 Day Challenge – Day 14

The importance of being inspired

This last fortnight I have been creating a lot, both the blog and new business ideas and for the last couple of days I have felt tired and flat.  With a full schedule, (including a visit 10 Downing Street today to deliver a petition to keep my brother’s care home open – www.ipetitions.com/petition/douglashouse) I have not been able to take time off and relax.

Today it occurred to me that when we are being creative we need to keep our levels of inspiration as high as possible, so we are putting in as well as taking out.

Luckily for me, I am going out for dinner this evening with my gorgeous girlfriend, Lisa and that is something I find very inspiring.

I am also planning to add regular inspiration time to my weekly schedule including an hour a day of doing something inspiring, a day a week of relaxing, a weekend a month away from home, a week a quarter abroad and ideally a month a year off (more on this later!)

My question to you is, what inspires you?

- Do you love walking in nature?
- Are you an art lover?
- Do you love listening to music?
- Do you love to listen to inspirational speakers?
- Do you love spending quality time with your loved ones?

Whatever you love to do, I encourage you to do more of it!

Whatever inspires you, do it and then share your inspiration with the world.

More on inspiration tomorrow and probably for a few days after that.

Have an inspiring day!